Monday, 19 August 2013

AFTERMATH: Post-Mortems

As you may know, the first 22 episodes of this blog are the text of my ebook, 'How To Become A Crack Addict' (Jan to April 2013), which you can buy on amazon, if you're into that kind of thing.  From thereon in, the blog is the almost-daily meanderings of yours truly, Benjamin of Turnham Green.  I am also Benjamin Lo-Fi, if you'd like to sample a few songs on youtube, but I respect your prerogative not to.  So anyway, here are today's meanderings...


I think I've performed more post-mortems than Quincy.

And to date, every time, I've found I'm still alive  He died, she's dead, he's as good as dead, and she died some years ago now.  So why am I still standing, albeit not in the clothes I'd like, in the midst of this decay?  Not through want of trying, I've abused myself as much as I've seen others themselves, and still, albeit not in the boots I'd like, I find myself lumbering still, faltering over the embers of those who lit the fire for me.  I've almost got survivor-guilt.

I see an ashen mask, looking up at me, the one who struck the match, a face a kiss could crumble, a too-close sneeze, or the gentlest of breeze.  Now, made new in age, she speaks like a sage.  'Go on, go forth, with a guiltless heart, the crime you carry the guilt for was done to you, not by you.'

'By you,' I reply.

I hope whoever gave Jack Klugman his final going-over had a quiet smile to themselves as they signed him through.

And that is all I can say today.

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