Tuesday, 13 August 2013

AFTERMATH: How To Spot A Relapse

As you may know, the first 22 episodes of this blog are the text of my ebook, 'How To Become A Crack Addict' (Jan to April 2013), which you can also buy on amazon, if your morals allow it.  From thereon in, this blog is the daily inspirations of yours truly, Benjamin of Turnham Green.  And here are today's inspirational speculations...


The doormat cannot be seen for letters
The washing-up smells
This evening's episode of Family Fortunes seems familiar
You stop buying normal things, like food, you can't checkout on ebay, and you begin making out it's time to start saving
You're playing Pac-Man online, and actually putting your name in the high-score chart
You haven't seen anyone for a few days, even though you could have
You may get up, but you don't eat until your ravenous, late afternoon
You're entertaining the possibility that a bath with Radox may change your life
You're wondering how much the hoover might be worth
You're reading the blue book for the first time ever, in search of loopholes
You find many loopholes
This morning's episode of Family Fortunes looks even more familiar
You make it to the shop, but you're walking slowly and obviously, in the hopes you'll be spotted, which won't be your fault
You've bought milk, but you're walking away from home rather than to it, even more slowly and obviously than before
You're dialling variations of a number that you think might be someone you've used with
You're going down a street you remember scoring on
You dredge up a grudge that hasn't bothered you for weeks
You study passers-by to see if they look dishevelled enough
You ring a bell you think might be the one
You're thinking it's as good as fate now, so you may as well just get it over with
None of the above has anything to do with you

And that is all I have to say today.

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