NEARLY

Hi, and thank you for flying into my web.  You may know, the first 22 posts of this blog are the text of my ebook, 'How To Become A Crack Addict'.  You can read that here, or buy it on amazon for about £3, if you're into that kind of thing.  If you do, I would love a review - there are three already, and a fourth would be spiffing.  As for now, this blog is the fairly frequent thoughts and conclusions of yours truly, Benjamin of Turnham Green (that's me).  And here is today's helping of thought...

NEARLY

It's very short what I have to say today, because I feel quite sad, and blocked up, if I'm honest.  I've got Newsnight on, and Clannad on youtube, but ultraloud adverts between their Celtic bouts of mellowness are kinda spoiling the vibe.  I've had quite an isolated few days, and it's beginning to depress me, drive me mad, and there's no real need for it.  Today, at least, I got up, and didn't go straight to my computer...instead, I went straight to the TV, and watched the snooker, which is an improvement.  I had a cup of tea in my new Cancer Research mug, originally from those exclusive purveyors of coffee, Whittards.  I don't think I've been happy in about twenty years, and that was only for about ten minutes.

I've been retail-therapying lately, although all in a good cause.  A year ago, my little cabin/studio-flat was a husk, evidence of ten+ years of addiction, days in bed, malnutrition, and despond.  A year ago, and for years beyond, there was no lush blue rug, mottled and sweeping like a sea beneath my naked feet, no candleholders whatsoever, and now I'm spoiled for choice when I want to light a candle.  And this, if anything, is surely a sign of recovery...?

And because you stumbled into my web, here is a song about webs...by me, for you...

A Song Called Cobwebs

And that seems to be all I've got to say today.  I'll try to be back tomorrow, though.  Bet you're glad about that.  Oh, and the reason I called this post 'Nearly' is because I came close to using today, or at least close to going 'for a walk'...somehow I didn't, even though I've never felt more emotionally critical in years...but I'm working on it.  Thanks for being there.  Honestly, thanks.  Maybe our paths will cross again.